Angeldust - Musical Conjurings from World of Illusion (1998)

1. Come Alive

“Wake up, wake up”, she said
As darkness descends on his dim life
“Wake up, I’m alive and alone”
“A lost soul in a world of illusion”
If we are not one
Wake up, wake up…
Burn… Wake up, wake up…

As a story of my life zooms out from my mind
I’ve come to realize that
We’re just but a million kinds
A piece of dust, lost souls in the wind
Do our lifetimes end before they begin?

I’m so happy, I’m so gay
All is well that ends well

“Come alive”, she said to me
“I’m alive”, you wanna be
“Come alive”, she said to me
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone

Wake up, wake up (burn)
Wake up, wake up
Burn, mother, burn, burn

A toe tag ends the tale of a life insignificant
Or so they say in the news today
Smiling faces, live for the moment
But before you know it
They’ll be reading off the tag on your toe

I’m so happy, I’m so gay
All is well that ends well

“Come alive”, she said to me
“I’m alive”, you wannabe
“Come alive”, she said to me
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone

Wake up, wake up (burn)
Wake up, wake up (burn, mother, burn, burn)

Wake up, wake up, wake up and live
Wake up, and breathe, and burn, mother, burn, burn
Wake up, wake up, wake up and live
Wake up, and breathe, and burn, mother, burn, burn

I’m so happy, I’m so gay
All is well that ends well

“Come alive”, she said to me
“I’m alive”, you wannabe
“Come alive”, she said to me
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone (to me)
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone

2. Down

You don’t look hard to find
What’s deep in your mind
It’s easier to hate than see…
Your convictions of stone
You kill off your own
You desperately want to be…

Masses dead inside - Open up your eyes
They’re broken and cold - Seeing your blindsight

(Down, down)
(Down, down)

Why’s humankind going down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one that can feel it?
Why is the human mind slowing down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one (who won’t go down)?

(Down, down)
(Down, down)
(Down, down)

I see through your disguise
Your self-righteous lies
Destroy what you don’t understand…
I cannot help but feel
That time doesn’t heal
Impressions that will never mend…

Masses dead inside - Open up your eyes
They’re broken & cold - Seeing your blindsight
(You’re going down, sucka’)
(Down, down)

Why’s humankind going down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one that can feel it?
Why is the human mind slowing down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one (Who won’t go down)?
(Who won’t go down?)
(Who won’t go down?)
(I’m not going down)
(You’re going down, sucka’)
(Yeah, yeah, sucka’ - down)

I have come to realize that look in your eyes
I’m staring back at me…

Why’s humankind going down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one that can feel it?
Why is the human mind slowing down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one (Who won’t go down)?

Why’s humankind going down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one (Who won’t go down)?
Why is the human mind slowing down?
Am I the only one that can see it?
Am I the only one (Who won’t go down)?
(That won’t go down)
(You’re going down, sucka’)

3. Fear

I live in the past - I can’t move on beyond the pain
I feel no release - I wanna’ find my peace of mind
You fuckin’

My fear, my fear (Ah, come on)
It’s holding me stillborn (Ah, ah)
My fear, my fear (Come on, come on)
I’ll never fear again

Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
(When you got all the pain)

You stole the innocence
From a child to be no more
Blinded by the silence
Afraid to ever speak a word
You fuckin’

My fear, my fear (Come on, come on)
It’s holding me stillborn (Ah, ah)
My fear, my fear (Come on, come on)
I’ll never fear again

Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
Don’t fear (Don’t fear)
(Ah, ah) Don’t fear
(When you got all the pain)
Fear (When you got all the pain)

Thinking on the times of my demise
And I wish it wasn’t me they victimized
And I don’t know, really can’t see
How I really couldn’t kill
The motherfucker that violated me

My fear, my fear (Come on, come on)
It’s holding me stillborn (Ah, ah)
My fear, my fear (Come on, come on)
It’s holding me stillborn

Thinking on the times of my demise
And I wish it wasn’t me they victimized (Don’t fear)
And I don’t know, really can’t see
How I really couldn’t kill
The motherfucker that violated me (Don’t fear)

Thinking on the times of my demise (Don’t you)
And I wish it wasn’t me they victimized (Fear)
And I don’t know, really can’t see
How I really couldn’t kill
(I will end my fear)

4. Thrush

“God, I love you…”

You live to criticize (Criticize me)
Forget truth, minimize (Minimize me)

Won’t reassure my mind
Hold what I try to find
I’m just sinking down (Down, down)
Down… (But will you come?)

Wicked thoughts paralyze (Paralyze me)
Hate to love, patronize (Patronize)

Still won’t believe my mind
Head-deep and with no time
Why don’t you understand? (Me, me)
Me… (So I let you go)

I’m drowning in the sea of my mind
I’m saving everything I left behind…

(Open your eyes!)
(Criticize! Sacrifice! Paralize! Finalize!)
(Ooh, Oooh-oh, Oooh-oh, Ooh-oh)
(Ooh, Oooh-oh, Oooh-oh, Ooh-oh)

“God, I love you…”
“So I let you go!”

I’m drowning in the sea of my mind
I’m saving everything I left behind…
I’m drowning in the sea of my mind
I’m saving everything I left behind…

(Open your eyes!)
(Criticize! Sacrifice! Paralize! Finalize!)
(Ooh, Oooh-oh, Oooh-oh, Ooh-oh)
(Ooh, Oooh-oh, Oooh-oh, Ooh-oh)

5. Procreation

Automatically, emphatically, infected oh
I gotta let you go (uh, uh)

Automatically, emphatically, infected oh
I gotta let you go (uh, uh)

I had a dream
We’re ruled by consciousness
Undemented eyes
Blinding visions
Procreation

Maybe I’m crazy, but you know I’m not a…
Nut job, not another nut job

Scratching skin
Spit me out
I’m not you (Uh, uh)
Procreation

Rubber room
Body in womb
Spit me out (Uh, uh)
Procreation

I can’t forget
Real life sees… Resurrects
See you, plant a seed
My stomach gives
You’re inside me

Maybe I’m crazy, but you know I’m not a…
Nut job, not another nut job

Scratching skin
Spit me out
I’m not you (Uh, uh)
Procreation

Rubber room
Body in womb
Spit me out (Uh, uh)
Procreation

That pisses me off

I’m not a nut job
I’m not a nut job
I’m not a nut job
(Uh, uh, yeah)
Everyone’s a nut job
But I’m not a nut job
(Give it to me)
I’m not a nut job
(Give it to me)
I’m not a nut job
Give it to me!

(Maybe I’m crazy, but you know, maybe I’m crazy…)
Automatically, emphatically, infected oh
I gotta let you go
I just can’t go
It keeps suck, sucking me in
So, here I go
(Uh, uh)

Scratching skin
Spit me out
I’m not you (Uh, uh)
Procreation

Rubber room
Body in womb
I’m not you (Uh, uh)
Procreation

I’m not a nut job (nut job)
I’m not a nut job (nut job)
I’m not a nut job (nut job)
I’m not a nut job (nut job)
I’m not a nut job (nut job)
I’m not a nut job (nut job)
I’m not, I’m, (nut job)
I’m…
I’m not a
Nut job… I don’t think so…

6. Die For Me

Twenty-one years of my life to go
Have I lost myself to someone else?
Truth, lie, to live or die?
Makes no difference if you’re never gonna fuckin’ try

I know I’ll die for you
Feed off my sorrow
(If you want me to)
I know I’ll die for you
Bleed for tomorrow
(If you want me to)

Will you die for me?
But will you die for me?

See me standing, so fucking cool
Wish you would be like me, a fool
Truth, lie, to live or die?
Makes no difference, you’re never gonna fuckin’ try

I know I’ll die for you
Feed off my sorrow
(If you want me to)
I know I’ll die for you
Bleed for tomorrow
(If you want me to)
I know I’ll die for you
Feed off my sorrow
(If you want me to)

I know I’ll die for you
Can you feel it, can you see it, do you want me to?
(Bleed for tomorrow)

Will you die for me?
But will you die for me?

I want you to…
I want you to…
I want you to…
I want you…

7. Edge of the World

Eight days I’ve been searching for someone
Looking for the reasons to keep hangin’ on
I’m not sure how I should feel?
It’s gettin’ worse ‘cause you’re not here
And it’s crazy losing to myself (All by myself)

I’m gonna snap, I’m gonna crack
I’m past the point, there’s no turning back
Oh, damn, I’m gonna slam
Into the edge of the world

What do I want from me? What can I ever be?
Why can’t I ever be, what I wanna be?
How can I change the way, I will end up today?
Change me, change me, change me!
I’m getting closer to the edge of the world

Help me, I’m sinking six feet deep
I had enough but I can’t let you go, oh, oh
I wish to God, you’d rescue me
And tell me who I’m supposed to be
It’s crazy losing to myself (All by myself)

I’m gonna snap, I’m gonna crack
I’m past the point, there’s no turning back
Oh, damn, I’m gonna slam
Into the edge of the world

What do I want from me? What can I ever be?
Why can’t I ever be, what I wanna be?
How can I change the way, I will end up today?
Change me, change me, change me!
I’m getting closer to the edge of the world

What do I want from me? What can I ever be?
Why can’t I ever be, what I wanna be?
How can I change the way, I will end up today?
Change me, change me, change me!
I’m getting closer to the edge of the world

(C'mon… C'mon, c'mon)
(Ahhh…)
(It’s another Mindfreak going out of control)
(Got my mic, got my mind, and I’m ready to blow)
(Ahhh)
(I got my lifetime tickin’, & my drinks I’m drinkin’)
(Goin’ ‘round & 'round, all around town)

What do I want from me? What can I ever be?
Why can’t I ever be, what I wanna be?
How can I change the way, I will end up today?
Change me, change me, change me! Me!

What do I want from me? What can I ever be?
Why can’t I ever be what I wanna, what I wanna, be, yeah?
Yeah, how can I change the way I’ll end up today?
Change me, change me, change…
I’m getting closer to the edge of the world

(Ahhhhh)
C'mon, I’m at the edge
(Ahhhhh)
I’m at the edge of the world

8. Darkest Day (JS)

Why aren’t you here
Why does life seem so unfair
You were strength in my darkest days
Now how can I face the world alone
I need you here

God tell me why my friend is gone, my friend is gone
And I’ll give up forever to be with you
So tell me why my friend is gone

Won’t you come back to me
In my dreams I want to see
All the promises we made come true
And to have just one more time with you

Forgive my negativity
This world is cold and empty
They tell me time will heal the pain
But I know I’ll never be the same without you
I need you here

God tell me why my friend is gone, my friend is gone
And I’ll give up forever to be with you
So tell me why, why, God, my friend is gone
Why, God, my friend is gone
My friend is gone

Why

All that I am it’s due to you
Do you see that you live in me
Eternally I’ll always be
Connected and reflected to your memory
Can you see me, can you feel me
Can you hear me, can you heal me
I can’t take this, I can’t fake this
I can’t shake this, life is so unfair
I need you here please

Why my friend is gone, my friend is gone
And I’ll give up forever to be with you
So tell me why, why, God, my friend is gone
Why, God, my friend is gone
So tell me why (to be with you)
God tell me why (to be with you)
So tell me why, God, my friend is gone
Now tell me why (to be with you)
Why (to be with you)
So tell me why, God, my friend is gone
Now tell me why (to be with you)
Why (to be with you)

9. Hate Me

“Welcome to a world of hate!”
“Where does it come from, all this hatred?”

I’m know who you are!
(Ignorant, ignorant)
What’s left to say? Get out of my face!
Truth won’t change, truth won’t change)
I can’t compete with all your expensive toys
(Buy or rent, buy or rent)
So what’s the difference anyway
You talk the same to me everyday!
(Burn it, burn it, burn it, burn it)

(Hate me!) For what I am!
(Hate me!) For what I’m not!
(Hate me!) With everything and anything you’ve got!

I know who I am
I know who I am
I know who I am, but who are you?

I know who I am
I know who I am
I know who I am, but who are you?

Rape me! Rape me! Hate me, for what I am!
(Ignorant, ignorant)

(Hate me!) For what I am!
(Hate me!) For what I’m not!
(Hate me!) With everything and anything you’ve got!
(Hate me!) I’m sick of this shit with you
(Hate me!) I’m sick of this shit with you
(Hate me!) With everything and anything you’ve got!
Hate… you

“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned…”
“Of what sin are you guilty?”
“I have been guilty of hating all Mankind”

Run! Run!

(Hate me!) For what I am!
(Hate me!) For what I’m not!
(Hate me!) With everything and anything you’ve got!
(Hate me!) I’m sick of this shit with you
(Hate me!) I’m sick of this shit with you
(Hate me!) With everything and anything you’ve got!

“Where does it come from, all this hatred?”

“Drive them- drive them into utter submission!”
“I’ll not show the slightest pity or mercy!”
“I’ll never stop… go, go!”

(Hate me!) For what I am!
(Hate me!) For what I’m not!
(Hate me!) With everything and anything you’ve got!

“Where does it come from, all this hatred?”

10. Deadlove Calling

Lost souls seek for a way
(To spend eternity together)
One half chosen to stay
(From the mirror of forever)
Time can’t seem to erase
(This lonely desperation)
Just a million faces…

It’s all about you, it’s all about me
It’s all about oneness, eternally
Deadlove calling me
(Don’t you hear me calling you?)

Living life as a lie
(Camouflage reality)
Visions through blinded eyes
(Where no one else can ever be)
Yesterday was a lie (I’m alive)
(Reflections of a fantasy)
The only face I wanna see…

It’s all about you, it’s all about me
It’s all about oneness, eternally
Don’t you hear me calling you!? (Deadlove)
Don’t you hear me calling you!? (Deadlove)
(Don’t you hear me calling you?)

I can’t leave me (I can’t leave me)
I can’t leave you (I can’t leave you)
I can’t leave this (I can’t leave this)
Alone

It’s all about you, it’s all about me
It’s all about oneness, eternally
Yeah!
Don’t you hear me calling you!? (Deadlove)
Don’t you hear me calling you!? (Deadlove)
Don’t you hear me calling you!?

(Deadlove calling me, deadlove calling me)

It’s all about you, it’s all about me
It’s all about oneness, eternally
Yeah!
Don’t you hear me calling you!? (Deadlove)
Don’t you hear me calling you!?

This voice said, “Don’t let them break you”
And I remembered thinking…
“It’s too late, I’m already broken”

11. Do You Know

I’m so tired, so tired
Of my fear of the unknown
Do you know?
Do doo do doo doo
Do doo do doo doo
Mmm-hmm

You look to tomorrow (Tomorrow)
To show me what I hope for
Hope that tomorrow (Tomorrow)
Rest my fear of the unknown

(Do you know?) Do you know?
(Do you know?) Do you know?
(Do you know?) How it feels?
(Do you know?) Do you know?
(Do you know?) How it feels?
(Do you know?) Do you know?

I’m so tired…
Do doo do doo doo
Do doo do doo doo
Do you know?

12. Metamorphosis

“It is the spirit of Houdini we wish to contact”

High-er… High-er…High-er… High-er…

Let me out of here (let me out of here)
Let me out (let me out, let me out)
Let me out, let me out of here
Let me out of here
Let me out
Let me out
Let me out

High-er… High-er…High-er… High-high-er…
High-er… High-er…High-er… High-er…
High-er… High-er…High-er… High-high-er…
High-er… High-er…High-er… High-er…

High-er… High-er…High-er… High-high-er…
High-er… High-er…High-er… High-er…

“Metamorphosis”

“It is the spirit of Houdini we wish to contact”

“Metamorphosis”

As logic ends as she descends, two less than zero

“It is the spirit of Houdini we wish to contact”

“Metamorphosis”

As logic ends as she descends, two less than zero

“It is the spirit of Houdini we wish to contact”

“Metamorphosis”

As logic ends as she descends, two less than zero

“Metamorphosis”

“Are you here Houdini?”

13. Forever

Rage saturates my inside
As my dreams turn to dust
Trust doesn’t live there
Creeps in my head
Oh, I wish you were dead
Through what had never meant

Victimize (Victimize)
Patronize (Patronize)
Words can’t be spoken to erase
Shed my skin to begin
Forever, forever
It’s too late for me

Feel my pain seeping out…
(It’s too late, it’s too late)

Feel my pain seeping out, feel my shame dripping out…
It’s too late, it’s too late…

(Give me what I want
Give me what I need
Give me what is mine
Give me what I bleed)

It’s too late, it’s too late…
It’s too late, forever

(Give me what I want
Give me what I need
Give me what is mine
Give me what I bleed)

It’s too late, it’s too late…
It’s too late, forever

Forever, forever…

14. Come Alive

Wake up, wake up…
Burn… Wake up, wake up…

As a story of my life zooms out from my mind
I’ve come to realize that
We’re just but a million kinds
A piece of dust, lost souls in the wind
Do our lifetimes end before they begin?

I’m so happy, I’m so gay
All is well that ends well

“Come alive”, she said to me
“I’m alive”, you wanna be
“Come alive”, she said to me
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone

Wake up, wake up (burn)
Wake up, wake up
Burn, mother, burn, burn

A toe tag ends the tale of a life insignificant
Or so they say in the news today
Smiling faces, live for the moment
But before you know it
They’ll be reading off the tag on your toe

I’m so happy, I’m so gay
All is well that ends well

“Come alive”, she said to me
“I’m alive”, you wannabe
“Come alive”, she said to me
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone

Wake up, wake up (burn)
Wake up, wake up (burn, mother, burn, burn)

Wake up, wake up, wake up and live
Wake up, and breathe, and burn, mother, burn, burn
Wake up, wake up, wake up and live
Wake up, and breathe, and burn, mother, burn, burn

I’m so happy, I’m so gay
All is well that ends well

“Come alive”, she said to me
“I’m alive”, you wannabe
“Come alive”, she said to me
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone (to me)
I’m alive alone (to me) I’m alive alone